Where is the Easy Button?

As I work on fulfilling orders and crafting the monthly newsletter, I can't help but reflect on our human tendency to seek out the easy way out. As a business owner, I'm constantly learning about myself, my family, and various therapy treatments, and in my head, I'm always asking, "Where is the Easy Button?" We all recall the Staples commercials with the Easy Button, where pressing it would solve all manner of problems. Sadly, there is no such button in real life. Despite that, I still find myself on the hunt for a simpler way to do things, even if it means sacrificing my time.

Dealing with grief I feel the same way. Like do I have to go through this? There’s seriously not an “Easy” button, I can press so I can get through this painful stage in my life quicker and with less pain? I’m here to tell you it is not. To be honest the easiest way to get through grief is to actually go through it. It sucks I know. But we have to go through the pain, the feelings, the crying, the losing and gaining hope, answering the questions from people who don’t understand. Like you’re still depressed? Hasn’t it been long enough? GIRLLL! I just want to uppercut those people. Not promoting violence or anything but it gets frustrating explaining to the same people why I feel the way I feel. You feel me?

Here are some lessons I've discovered from taking shortcuts:

• It’s ultimately counterproductive. Meaning it often leads to having to redo the task, which takes more time than if I had done it the first time.

• The feelings I experienced are more intense the second time around because now I wish I would’ve just let myself feel.

• I have to show myself grace and allow time for me to get through each phase.

• I was only rushing myself because I felt like I had to get over it because I was tired of going through it.

Grief is a natural and complex emotion that we experience when we lose someone or something that is important to us. It can be overwhelming, and the process of grieving can be different for everyone. It’s completely natural but complex. It’s hard to understand until you experience it. There is no right or wrong way to experience it but expressing some of the emotions that go with it can go from healthy to unhealthy before we realize it. Like falling into depression, having outburst etc.

Through grief we get the privilege of learning lessons that only grief and loss can teach us. Like empathy. Most people are naturally sympathetic, but it is when we have gone through something, felt similar feelings of others or are able to put on someone’s feelings and pain, that we can truly learn what it means to be empathetic. Empathy and sympathy are two words that are often used interchangeably, but they actually have different meanings. While both involve caring about the emotions of others, empathy involves understanding and sharing the feelings of others, while sympathy involves acknowledging and feeling concern for the emotions of others.

Today as you go on your journey and you are looking for the easy way, I encourage you to show yourself the same empathy you would someone else who is going through what you are feeling?

• Ask yourself these questions while looking for the easy way out of your distress:

• Do I want to have to go through this again?

• What can I learn from this experience?

• How would I treat my friend or someone I cared about if they were going through this?