Cry Baby, Cry Baby, Dry Your Little Eyes

Let’s talk about depression….

Depression is many things and it’s the grief stage that most people get stuck in and can’t find their way out. They look for coping mechanisms to deal with the stress and emotions that go along with depression. Some people turn to negative coping mechanisms like drugs and alcohol while others turn to more positive ones like journaling, meditation, working out etc.

The depression phase of grief is generally associated with excessive crying and uncontrollable sadness after a loss because those are common symptoms of depression.

But what if I told you depression is also over/under eating, weight gain/loss, random outburst of anger, withdrawal, not cleaning, over cleaning, and self harm? It’s not all tears and woe is me.

Depression caused by grief can not be cured by prayer alone. Even the Bible says “faith without works is dead” so you can’t just pray it away and take medications. Then think you will be fine. That’s not how that works. You need therapy, and actual tools as well as find the underlying causes of the depression. Depression is not always a chemical imbalance, a spirit or something you just come out of. Sometimes it’s root cause problem Identification.

Example: When my brother died I experienced depression. After years of therapy and medication(that didn’t help) I was able to identify I felt guilty and the guilt I felt came out as depression. I felt guilty for 2 reasons. Yup 2!

1. The week before my brother was killed I was mad at him and told him “I wish you would die!” IKR! Crazy!

2. I went to school because I thought I felt well enough to attend. And in my head if I hadn’t went to school that day my brother would still be alive.

At 11 years old that depression came out as anger, withdrawal, insecurities and the list goes on. It was when I became of age that same depression came out in promiscuity and drinking. and neither numbed the pain I felt or helped ease the other symptoms. They were just coping mechanisms. Once I identified the real cause of the depression, I was able to stop self-medicating and started talking about the guilt I felt, I started celebrating his life instead of his death. I stopped being mean towards people. I was more engaging with my and I was able to trust people. It’s a process. I now understand that I was 11 years old and I was mad and I had no control over him dying. And the person who killed him was the only one guilty for his death.

If you struggling and feeling stuck in your depression and feel like there is no way out of it. Medication doesn’t help. Feels like your prayers aren’t reaching God. Self medicating. And just feel like you have absolutely no peace no matter what you try.

It’s time to identify the source.

I encourage you to talk to some one. A certified or licensed professional with experience with counseling grief and having a real come to Jesus moment with yourself. It’s going to be tough. So I won’t pretend it’s all rainbows and unicorns and you magically feel better because bayyyybee! Ain’t no rainbows or unicorns. But on the other side, the side I’m writing from today there is forgiveness, peace, joy and comfort.

If you aren’t ready to talk to a therapist, get my guided journal Good Grief. You can also schedule a free 30minute coaching call with me. We can talk about it and find tools that work for you.

Whatever you chose I'm here to help.