Give Me Some Space….

Last week I was talking with some friends and she was telling me how one of her coworkers just lost her brother and was back to work like nothing happened. We all agreed that some people do that to keep them busy so they don’t think about it. She said she saw the girl 3 times in the hallway and on that 3rd time she told her the girl to meet her in her office. The girl agreed and long story short my friend told the girl to cry scream yell or whatever because she she wasn’t ok.  My friend  said she wanted to give her space to feel all the feelings. That hit home.

We are so conditioned to not feel in public when we are in dyer need of space to cry. When we need to breakdown but can’t because we don’t wanna make things awkward for others, or feel embarrassed or make other people feel some type of way or look weak.

We are 8 days into Mental Health Awareness Month and the number 8 signifies new beginnings. On this 8th day of the month I dare you to do something new with your thoughts, actions and feelings. I challenge you to take and use the space you need to feel. I challenge you to provide someone you know with the space they need to feel. Feeling and emotions are difficult to deal with and when we hold them in it gets even more complicated. Let’s start a new trend, where we as women open up and provide each safe places to land free from judgement and ridicule... here is how :

1. Respect their boundaries: If someone needs emotional space, it's important to respect their boundaries and give them the time and space they need.

2. Listen without judgment: When someone needs emotional space, it's important to listen to them without judgment and allow them to express their feelings.

3. Avoid giving unsolicited advice: Giving advice when someone is not ready to receive it can be counterproductive. It's better to wait until the person is ready to ask for advice.

4. Don't take their behavior personally: It's important to remember that when someone needs emotional space, it's not about you. Don't take their behavior personally.

5. Give them time to process: Time is a great healer. Give the person the time they need to process their emotions and thoughts.

6. Let them know you're there for them: Although they need space, it's important to let them know that you're there for them if they need you.

7. Offer practical help: If they need practical help, offer to help them with tasks that may be overwhelming for them.

8. Show empathy: Show empathy by acknowledging their feelings and letting them know that you understand how they feel.

If you are someone who needs emotional space here are 8 ways to ask:

1. "Can I have some time alone to process my thoughts and feelings?"

2. "I need some space to recharge and take care of myself."

3. "Can we talk somewhere private? I need to vent without judgement."

4. "I'm feeling overwhelmed and would appreciate some space."

5. "I need some quiet time to sort through my emotions."

6. "Can we talk later? I need some time to gather my thoughts."

7. "I'm feeling a bit suffocated right now and could use some breathing room."

8. "I know you want to be supportive but can I have a moment?"

Don't be afraid to ask what you need when you need it, and don't be afraid to provide space for others who need. That space could be emotional, mental or physical. Sometime we just need safe spaces to land and be seen and heard. Others we need people to leave us alone for a moment while we figure out. Either way if you don't say anything the people who matter wont' know.